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My ReDnEcK PaGe

(music courtesy of Lynyrd Skynyrd)

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Redneck "timeout"

A great take from one of my buddies.....Jose.....

Yeah, yeah. I already told you guys I had a little redneck blood in me, I am from Emmett! Where if your 4x4 doesn’t have dried mud stuck to it or is at least dirty you’re a puss, you don’t have a CB in your truck, you don’t own at the very least a .22 rifle, a couple fishing poles, be a member of the NRA, drink Coors, chew Hagen, have a belt buckle the size of a license plate, have kids with 3 different women and have your current girlfriend knocked up, were convicted for not paying child support and currently on probation for it but still think you got a bad rap and want to kick the crap out of your court appointed lawyer but still manage to have enough money to buy a roll of Hagen once a week and get drunk at least four times a week, live in your cousin’s (which you got caught kissing at her own wedding and her husband is her cousin and since everyone was drunk while it happened, no one really cared) rental, the only “computer” you know how to run is the Wal-Mart CD listening station, you think vitamins are for whimps, McDonald’s is your whole family’s favorite restaurant to meet at on Friday nights, video games are educational, recycling to you is using old beer cans & bottles to shoot trap if you run’d out of clay pigeons, half your guns are in hock but you swear you’ll get ‘em out when you get your next check, you still cry to Skynard’s Free Bird every time you hear it (drunk or not) you’re 86’d out of every bar in town but one and you owe them money from the tab you started at your cousin’s (the one you got caught kissing) wedding reception, “religiously” watch NASCAR every Sunday and won’t leave the house unless you run out of beer, and last but not least…your 3^rd cousin is Doug

more from Jose

You actually like golf, not because you’re good at it or even like it but because you can drive the rental cart drunk and not get in trouble and when you break all your golf clubs and run out of golf balls, you can always go bass fishing on the ponds on the course. You can’t name all the presidents within the last 24 years (there’s only 4) but can name the winners of the Winston Cup over the past ten years (there’s been 8). Although you have never been to church or claim any Christian religion, you pray and pray to God and swear you’ll start going to church every time your ole’ lady tells you she’s late and when the cops pull you over again and give you a DUI test. You’re momma is real proud you finally got your GED. You’re mad jobs are going out of country but you still won’t take a job unless it has something to do with welding something ‘cuz that’s what you’re good at. You’re mad about how high gas prices are but still drive to the Chevron for a pack a smokes even though it’s only half a block away. You insist you’re a true red-blooded American through and through but you still drive a Toyota pickup and you only buy Sony electronics. You don’t know more than 5 of the 50 state capital cities but know all the cities where NASCAR races are held.                

ANOTHER REDNECK CANIDATE....????

see more of Dan on my DTV page.....

some Redneck sites......

rEDNECK HOROSCOPES HERE

ReDnEcK family photos.....here (UPDATED...WORKS NOW AND IS great!!!!!)

this is awesome...click here

http://www.inbredrednecks.com/

http://www.lilligren.com/Redneck/

Thanks Jeff

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SEE MY OLD BAND PICS AND LISTEN TO THE TUNES....HERE...

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